emotion on/off

right now i wish it was as simple as switching off a light to turn off my emotions. This week has been horrific on so many levels, i would say i can't wait for the week to be over but it doesn't seem like im going to be feeling any better after the week ends. I just want the phone to go and to know right away who it would be, have you sing random songs down the phone, talk about a load of shite, make me need a fag because your having one and to hear you do that impression you do very best that makes me cry with laughter. Thats not going to happen because it seems like i've lost you too. i would love to find someone who would stick around because this feeling on top of everything else is seriously killing me!

goodnight and go

Skipping beats, blushing cheeks.
I am struggling, daydreaming.
Bed scenes in the corner cafe
And then I'm left in bits recovering tectonic tremblings
You get me every time.

Why'd ya have to be so cute?
It's impossible to ignore you.
Must you make me laugh so much?
It's bad enough we get along so well.
Say goodnight and go.

Follow you home,
You've got your headphones on

And you're dancing
Got lucky; Beautiful shot:
You're taking everything off
Watch the curtains wide open
And you're following the same routine;
Flicking through the TV, relaxed and reclining
And you think you're alone.

One of these days,
You'll miss your train,
And come stay with me.
It's always say goodnight and go
We'll have drinks,
And talk about things and,
Any excuse to stay awake with you.
You'll sleep here, I'll sleep there,
But then the heating may be down again,
At my convenience.
We'd be good, we'd be great together...

Why's it always always:
Goodnight and go?
Oh, Darling not again,
Goodnight and go.

All i've thought about today is when the bloody hell im gonna be able to afford my next tattoo, it feels like a year ago i got this tattooed on my foot. I've known for ages what i want done but i just need the money. FUCKING HATE MY JOB, yeah people say 'oh well at least you have a job its hard to find one these days' but i seriously think id be better off with no job at all than working 9 hours a week for shit pay, shit working conditions and shit co-workers. The next 5 days i will have £28 to hopefully get me to glasgow n back, drunk at Robbie's 21st and hopefully if its sunny a few days in the meadows, there is a slim chance of all of that happening with so little money. im watching Nowhere Boy right now while trying my very hardest not to itch my eyes. Hayfever is a bitch and i need a fag!

I lit a candle because you asked me to.

Only you didn't.
You didn't did you?
Not that time.
I turned around from staring at the flickering flame and you weren't in the room.
I guess I hoped if I lit it somewhere out there you'd know.
You'd just know?
You'd drive through the pale lit streets to be here.
Leave behind the party.
Leave your friends in the club.
Maybe you'd drive by my house late one night and still see my light on from the window of your car.
Maybe...

first post

This is my third attempt at a blog, the other two i never told anyone about i just posted stuff i had to get out that i didn't want to put on facebook or twitter. Hopefully this won't be the case with this, third time lucky n all. So yeah you will no doubt not understand half the shit i post but there will be a lot of pretty pictures and maybe a sordid story or two. Well im Nicole, im overly emotional, dyslexic and i walk funny. There will no doubt be a photo in each of these posts.